Please don't be scared, because no, I'm not furiously mad at you and no, this is not a pre-Halloween, spooky posting; this is just how my eye has been looking recently. The combination of facial/eyelid paralysis, lack of sensation in my face/eye, double vision, and lack of fine motor coordination in my right hand make my right eye issues really challenging to deal with on my own. My eye is always dried out and firey red, but it's hard and kind of dangerous for me to try and put eye drops in virtually every hour and it's also tricky for Jay to have this responsibility added to his daily routine and caretaking for me (to this day, he has cared for my eye every morning and night since I was out of the hospital). After my eyelid surgery this past July, I was really hoping that the over-exposure and constant dryness in my right eye would be healed. These are not just cosmetic problems or slight annoyances, but the real issue is that if you don't blink involuntarily (which I don't--I must think about blinking or make myself blink by closing the lid with my hand) and can't adequately lubricate your eye, then your cornea can get dried out, cracked, and scarred, damaging your vision and ultimately putting the overall health of your eye at risk.
Jay and I visited my eye surgeon after we dropped off birthday snacks at James' preschool on Monday. Needless to say, the state of my eye and cloudiness in my cornea (as you can see above) was very disconcerting to the doctor. Basically, he told me that I must find a way to better lubricate it during the day, so that some noticeable improvements are made to the eye in a month, or else, he will have to undo the surgery. Now, even though the gold-weight/eyelid surgery did not fully solve my eye issues, at the very least, from a vision and symmetry standpoint, there is a difference in how my right eye and upper lid looked from BEFORE the surgery and AFTER .
PRE-EYELID SURGERY (from Fall 2010)
POST-EYELID SURGERY (from October 2011)
***************************** Please pray that I will be able to find a way to add this rather cumbersome routine to my life. My vision is certainly valuable enough to figure out a way to make it work (thanks to my sweet friend, Lauren, who found an eye SPRAY, which looks promising!) I suppose if it's necessary, I will be OK with undoing the surgery, but I hope if my eye is better in the next month, that not only will they keep the July surgery intact, but they will figure out some other options to make the whole eye situation improve more (there a few other surgeries I could potentially have). Ironically, in the beginning, the eye was kind of the least of my worries, and for some reason, in my mind, I just figured it would be the easiest deficit to cross of my list. Not quite...