In the first three years that we lived in LA, I put nearly 100,000 miles on our little car, mostly driving to and from Malibu to auditions or to church and beyond.  LA is certainly a car town and though we thankfully live in an area that is walkable to many things, it is quite challenging to live and do in this city without being able to drive.

Not having great coordination over my right hand and leg, being deaf in my right ear, and most affecting, having double vision, all make driving nearly impossible for me.  Who knows, maybe one day, some of those issues will resolve enough that I could drive, but I have come to a sort of peace with the fact that I may never drive again.  Of course, it's not just about driving but about the deeper issue of not being able to have true independence.  Then again, life is not and should not be just about what we can do on our own.  For me, it's been a true exercise in humility to learn to accept the gracious help of others.

Basically, if I want to go out and about, whether it's to therapy or to a play date with other mommies or to my CBS bible study, I am dependent on Jay, a family member, or a friend to take me there.  At first, it kind of broke my heart when James would ask, "Mommy, who is going to pick us up?"  Now, it's kind of endearing to know that James is seeing first hand what it means to be a part of a community that loves and accepts and goes out of its way to help each other.  Moreover, though most all of us are in the car, commuting with our kids every day, I feel a special bonding with my little carpool buddy.  Finding a ride and waiting expectantly out front, loading in the car seat or wheelchair, all of the fuss just makes the final destination with my Jamesie all the more special.  Thank you so much to all of my faithful drivers--I couldn't do it without you!